


i know that it's hard (but don't give up yet)

by captbarnes



Category: Social Network (2010)
Genre: M/M, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-16
Updated: 2013-03-16
Packaged: 2017-12-05 16:42:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captbarnes/pseuds/captbarnes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss have always been inseparable, but they never really realized just how much they needed each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i know that it's hard (but don't give up yet)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [linzeigh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/linzeigh/gifts).



> prompt is courtesy of lindsey (motherfuckingsassmaster @ tumblr). it says, "winklevii mirror-game that gets out of hand over time, with the addition of divya somewhere in the mix later". this fic contains twincest, implied threesomes, and a bit of implied underage, so if you're not into that, please don't read. otherwise, enjoy! :)

They're seven years old, both small and lanky, with dirt smudged across their noses and grass stains on their knees. When they come through the back door, they're not surprised at the empty silence that greets them because they've somehow gotten used to it. A detached mother and a distant father don't make for very loving parents, so they've had to turn to each other for support and comfort. Cameron takes on the gentler ways of a mother figure, imploring his brother to let him look at the cut on his knee and see how bad the damage is. He gets milk from the fridge and pours them both a glass, careful not to spill a drop, telling Tyler not to make a mess. Tyler takes on the harsher father approach, always pulling his brother into a headlock or patting him a little too hard on the back. They balance each other out. When Tyler wants to wrestle, they wrestle; when Cameron wants to play house, they play house. They share a room, they take their baths together, they're in the same class at school. They're peas in a pod, and they keep each other safe from whatever's out there that is to be feared. Right now, the only things they're afraid of are spiders and their father when he's angry.

Their father is very concerned with making money, and they don't mind too much. They like their big house and all its rooms, and they like being able to enjoy a lot of roaming space and hiding places. They both understand (though Cameron a little more than Tyler) that their father's money is the only way they live as well as they do. When their mother is home, she dotes on Cameron, always smoothing his hair over and bending down to kiss his forehead. He's quiet and simple, much like her, and she understands him. Tyler is rough, and loud, and always dirtier, even though he and Cameron engage in all the same activities. She doesn't connect with him in the same way. Cameron is obviously her favorite, and it upsets Tyler a little, but Cameron always grabs his brother's hand and pulls him out into the large backyard, telling him that they can play whatever he wants, and suddenly, all is forgotten and forgiven. If he has his brother, he doesn't need his mother.

They devise a game one day, out of nowhere, and they call it "the mirror game". They sit across from each other on the floor of their room, or on Tyler's top bunk, or in the dark closet with a blanket over their heads to keep themselves hidden. They cross their legs Indian-style, and they watch each other, and whenever one of them moves, the other replicates it. If Tyler lifts his right hand, Cameron lifts his left. Cameron tilts his head, and so does Tyler. Tyler scrunches his nose up, and Cameron does the same. They think it's fun because it's like looking into a mirror, like they're one person. Their father walks in while they're mirroring one day and asks them what they're doing, and Cameron - his eyes never leaving his brother - carefully replies, "playing a game."

That's good enough for him, but they know it's deeper than that. They're connecting to each other. It's always been said that twins can read each other's minds, but Tyler and Cameron don't need to because they're already thinking the same things. The mirroring is a way for them to escape the rest of the world and just be with each other. That's what they need; that's all that they need.

Each other.

*** *** *** *** ***

Their tenth birthday rolls around and not much has changed. They're both a little taller, both a few pounds heavier, both becoming cuter and cuter with each passing minute. Tyler is still angry, so he takes up sports to get rid of some of his energy. Little League, pee-wee football, soccer. Cameron joins them all, because he wants to stay close to his brother, but what he really enjoys is drawing. He expresses himself through a pencil and paper, and he draws everything from bowls of fruit to swingsets and trees. Tyler doesn't like to draw because it takes patience (something he doesn't have), but he likes to watch Cameron draw, so they go to the park and sit back-to-back, with Cameron drawing the world around him and Tyler watching the sky. He points out clouds that look like animals, and he tells Cameron how he feels about everything: homework, and their parents, and people from school.

Sometimes, he talks about girls in their class and how he kind of likes them, and Cameron doesn't have a lot to say. He's noticed the pretty girls, sure, but he's not interested the same way Tyler is. And he's noticed boys, too, but he doesn't think boys are supposed to be pretty in the same way girls are. He doesn't know much, but he knows enough to know that he's not supposed to think boys are attractive, so he keeps it to himself and thinks that it must be pretty awful if he can't even tell Tyler about it. They tell each other everything and they always have; it makes him feel dirty to be keeping something like this from his brother.

Their dad is more involved with them now that his company is secure enough to survive without him for a few days, and he comes to some of their soccer and baseball games, always sitting down and immediately introducing himself to whoever has the misfortune to be seated next to him. "Howard Winklevoss," he says briskly, extending his hand toward each and every stranger in the vicinity. "Those are my boys." And he points to Cameron and Tyler, both of them focused and ready to win, and he smiles because those boys are going to do great things, whether they know it or not. He knows, and that's all that matters.

Their mother comes to a game once in a while, but she doesn't make a habit out of it. It bothers Cameron for a little while, but Tyler puts a hand on his shoulder and reminds him that "you'll always have me", and then it doesn't matter anymore.

When they go to recess at school one day and Cameron sees his brother chasing a girl around, he gets a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach - much like the feeling he gets when he's sick and about to throw up. It's a terrible feeling, and he hates it, but the worst part is that he doesn't know why it's there. All he knows is that he wants to march up to Tyler and pull him away from that girl forever.

They're brothers. It's to be expected.

At home, whenever Tyler starts to talk about girls, Cameron just rolls his eyes and groans dramatically. "Ty, come here," he'll say, and Tyler will obey, and then Cameron will tackle him to the ground and start pulling at his clothes and trying to pin him. He always loses when they wrestle, but it gets Tyler to focus on him and not on the girls at school, and that's enough for him.

Sometimes, they'll be doing their homework or playing a video game, and one of them will nudge the other's arm, saying, "Let's play the mirror game." They always drop whatever they're doing and sit across from each other, taking deep breaths and initiating it with a simple twitch of fingers or the clicking of a tongue. They don't tell anyone else about the mirror game because if they talk about it, it seems silly - and besides, both of them know that no one else could ever understand why they do it. They don't even understand why they do it, aside from the fact that it makes them happy and it makes the rest of the world melt away. They don't need the mirror game to be close to each other, but it makes everything easy, so they play it.

*** *** *** *** ***  
  
Thirteen brings a lot of changes, the most noticeable of which is a newly-awakened sexuality. It's no longer about whether Lilian Weatherbie is cute or not; it's about how far she'll go. All their friends talk about anymore is which girls they want to make out with, and which girls they wouldn't touch with a ten-foot-pole. Tyler's already had his first kiss - when he was eleven, at a party in a game of 'Spin the Bottle'. The girl's name was Sophie Alexander, and she had blonde hair and braces. Cameron was there too, of course, but when the bottle landed on him and he was supposed to kiss Amy Carter, he lied and said he didn't feel very good. On the way home, Tyler interrogated him, and he told the truth: "I just didn't want to kiss her." That was good enough for Tyler, so it was good enough for him.   
  
(Tyler said later that night that he hadn't really enjoyed kissing Sophie Turner, anyway, and Cameron suddenly felt a lot better about the whole thing.)  
  
Cameron's first kiss is in a school play. They're freshmen in high school and both thirteen, and he somehow manages to convince Tyler to go with him and audition for  _Romeo and Juliet_. They both get cast - Cameron as Romeo and Tyler as Gregory - and in the death scene, the girl playing Juliet leans down and plants a large, messy kiss on his lips. After the show, she bats her eyelashes and tosses her hair in his direction, but he just smiles politely and walks away, Tyler following behind him. He thinks he should have liked kissing her a lot more than he did, but he just feels dirty and underwhelmed. First kisses aren't all they're cracked up to be.  
  
When they get home, Cameron is a little down, and Tyler doesn't understand why. "You did awesome," he says, peering down at his brother from the top bunk. Cameron is too busy squirming out of his costume to respond, but Tyler never takes his eyes off of him. "Why are you being so stupid?" When Cameron still doesn't respond, Tyler sighs heavily and rolls his eyes upward. "Come here," he orders, and Cameron puts on a pair of basketball shorts before climbing the ladder to the top bunk and settling himself down in front of his brother.  
  
"What?" he says, and this time, it's Tyler who doesn't respond. Cameron watches as his brother pulls his shirt collar down to reveal his collarbone, and the skin there has a red mark, small and bright and obvious, and there's suddenly a very unsettling feeling in Cameron's stomach. His mind begins to reel and he tries to think of a time that they were apart long enough for Tyler to even  _get_ a hickey. They're practically inseparable; Tyler goes wherever Cameron does, and vice versa. But Tyler opens his mouth to explain, and Cameron immediately focuses.  
  
"That party, a couple weeks ago. Sophie was there, and she just got her braces off, you know, and I told her she looked nice, and... it kind of happened."  
  
There's a pause, and Cameron isn't looking his brother in the eyes anymore.  
  
"Cam?" Tyler frowns, letting go of his collar and rubbing the back of his neck. "Cam, what are you looking at? You're mad. Knock it off; I didn't show you because I just kind of... forgot. I wasn't  _hiding_ it from you, I--"  
  
"Stop," Cameron commands, and Tyler shuts up. Still not looking his brother in the eye, Cameron lifts his left hand and waits for Tyler's right hand to follow. When it does, he puts it back on top of his knee, and Tyler does the same. He licks his lips, and he looks up just in time to see Tyler do it, too.  _Shit_. His eyes are immediately drawn to the spot where Tyler's collar is mussed, and he lifts his right hand without even meaning to, glancing from the shirt to Tyler's left hand and back. He leans forward and pulls the collar down, looking at the mark on his brother's otherwise perfect skin, thinking about the fact that now, there's something to differentiate the two of them. They're no longer exactly identical. Cameron's skin is still smooth and unblemished, whereas Tyler has a mark from Sophie Turner's lips and tongue and teeth. It makes Cameron angry in an unreasonable way, and the fact that it's unreasonable frustrates him even more. He runs his first two fingers carefully over Tyler's skin, and he shivers a little as Tyler reaches forward to do the same to him. It feels like they're connecting more now than they ever have, now that they're taking time and Cameron can properly examine the territorial mark that someone  _else_ has left on his brother. He pulls his fingers back sharply, like he's been burned, and it takes Tyler a moment to realize that his skin is cool and uncovered by Cameron's fingers, but he pulls his hand back, too, and meets his brother's eyes.  
  
There's a pause that hangs in the air, pregnant and thick like fog, but Cameron soon swallows the lump in his throat and says, "I don't want a girl to give me a hickey."  
  
*** *** *** *** ***  
  
Cameron comes home at fourteen years old with a red mark on his neck, not unalike the one Sophie Turner once gave Tyler, and this time it's Tyler's turn to watch as Cameron pulls his shirt collar down to expose his skin. Tyler runs his fingers along the mark, sliding his hand up and underneath Cameron's shirt collar to move his thumb across the reddened skin. "Where'd you get it?" he asks, not in the typical 'tell me more, tell me more' way, but in a more demanding, I'll-kill-them way. Cameron is his, and he is Cameron's. They're brothers. Twins. Bonded together for the rest of their lives, meant for no one but each other, much like soulmates or penguins that mate for life. The fact that someone else thinks it's okay to claim Cameron like this is ridiculous, and it makes him nauseous.  
  
"Alex Turner," Cameron says in the smallest voice he has, and Tyler gapes at him, fingers still warm against his shoulder.  
  
"Sophie's brother?"  
  
Cameron nods, his eyes welling up with tears, and Tyler slips his hand away from the mark, grabbing his brother's arm. "Cam. Don't." (He's never been good at being reassuring.) "So do you - I mean, you don't... like girls?"  
  
Cameron sighs and shakes his head, wiping angrily at his eyes with the back of his hand. "I do, I just, I like guys too, and it just happened." He glances at the bedspread and Tyler squeezes his arm, lifting his right hand and waiting for Cameron to notice. When he finally does, he lifts his left hand in response, but his eyes are still watering and he looks very sad. Tyler's stomach is still churning, and he feels like he's going to throw up, but the difference from before is that he thinks he knows why.  
  
He puts his hand on Cameron's knee, and when Cameron returns the gesture, he feels a shiver down his spine and confirms his suspicions. He's too focused on the look in Cameron's eyes and the way he's licking his lips to be disgusted with himself -  _this is your brother, Tyler, your brother, what are you doing, this is Cam we're talking about_ \- and he doesn't really tell it to, but his hand is moving up Cameron's thigh, and Cameron's is doing the same, and it reminds him of the 'are you nervous' game another kid taught him at a party once. He locks eyes with Cameron and watches him carefully, making sure that he's not ruining their relationship for the rest of eternity - but Cameron's eyes are sort of dark now, and he's still licking his lips, and his fingers are inching up, up, dangerously up Tyler's thigh. He thinks that Cameron has probably forgotten about Alex Turner now, and he quickly uncrosses his legs and sits up on his knees, using his free hand to steady himself on the bed - and in one movement, he leans forward and puts his hand on Cameron's neck, pulling him in and pressing a rough kiss to his lips.  
  
The kiss is returned in full, which takes an enormous weight off of his shoulders, and when he feels Cameron's palm on his neck, he smiles in the knowledge that they're still mirroring each other.  
  
*** *** *** *** ***  
  
For the next two years, they stumble through a phase of experimenting, most of it through the mirror game (which is no longer a game). Anymore, when they mirror each other, it's unintentional (they think so similarly, they do things exactly the same and in the same moment without even trying). If they sit down to mirror each other, it's an excuse for something else - but eventually, they stop playing the game and cut to the chase of what they're really trying to do. They're sixteen now, and high school jocks: stars of the football team, the baseball team, and especially the rowing team. Tyler took up rowing to get some of his energy out, and Cameron took up rowing to stay in shape and stay with his brother. It turns out that they both love it more than they'd ever intended to, and there are times when they fall asleep together after a long night of studying, and Tyler will wake up to Cameron kissing his temple or rubbing his side. "Ty," he'll say, smiling in spite of himself. "Ty, we have to go."  
  
There are times when Cameron is too into his own head, and he starts to speak quickly and get anxious, but all Tyler has to do is pull him close and kiss him, and all that nervousness melts away. They can never tell anyone what's going on with them (not that they really have a word for it, anyway), and they both know that. But they need this, and they need each other, and if they have to keep it a secret from absolutely everyone, that's fine.  
  
(They both like it better this way, anyway. It feels like Tyler is Cameron's secret, and Cameron is Tyler's, and they don't want anyone to come between that.)  
  
To keep their parents and the kids at school in the dark, they still go on dates, and Tyler still flirts unabashedly with girls at football games or rowing meets. Cameron is a little more subtle in his approaches; he prefers to strike up an honest conversation with a girl before he asks her out. Hardly anyone ever turns them down, because they're  _the Winklevoss twins_ , and they're both tall, strong, and handsome. Girls are practically lining up at their door, which only makes their secret that much easier to keep. They have an entire sea of cheerleaders and volleyball players and flutists to choose from, so they start to develop reputations: Tyler is the smooth-talking womanizer, and Cameron is the shy gentleman with a heart of gold. It works for them, because they both know that no matter who they're seen with on the football field after school, they'll always come home to each other.  
  
That doesn't mean that neither of them are possessive, though.  
  
One night, Tyler gets home from a date a lot later than he'd promised, and he comes into their room, startled to find that his brother is still awake and reading. "Cam?" he asks as he slips his shoes off. "What are you doing, it's two--"  
  
"I know what time it is,  _Ty_." Cameron looks up from his book, meeting his brother's eyes. "Where were you?"  
  
Ty smirks and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, although he feels like he's in trouble. "I was at Melissa's." When there's no response, he goes over to Cameron's bed (they no longer have bunks) and sits on the floor beside him, putting a hand on his bare chest. "The girl I went out with," he explains, but his hand is pushed away almost immediately and Cameron closes his book.  
  
"I know who Melissa is, Ty," he says quietly, and Tyler smiles again because while Cameron may be pissed, he still can't use his full name, and it's the greatest thing Tyler's ever heard. No matter what the circumstances are, they can never  _really_ be mad at one another. They love each other too much; they're too close for that. "What were you doing?"  
  
Tyler laughs uncomfortably, standing up and turning his back to his brother. "Cam, I don't think you really need to... I mean, I think you know what I was doing."  
  
"Did you sleep with her?"  
  
That makes Tyler turn around, and he's again surprised to see that Cameron is on his feet and coming toward him. It's a new side of Cameron; a side he's never seen, and it terrifies him and turns him on all at once. "No, Cam - Jesus -  _no,_ I didn't sleep with her. Shit, you really think I'd--?"  
  
Cameron shrugs as he closes in on Tyler, and Tyler backs up until he hits the wall. "Then what were you doing?" He's close enough for Tyler to feel his breath now, and Tyler reaches out to touch his neck,  but Cameron pushes his hand away.  
  
"Cam--"  
  
"What?" he says, trailing his hands down Tyler's shirt and grabbing handfuls of fabric, pulling him close. "Ty, Jesus - you don't get it!" He realizes that he's almost yelling, so he lowers his voice to a whisper, the hurt evident in his face. "You can't have her and keep me," he explains, hands still full of Tyler's shirt. "You can't do that; you can't do both, I don't - I don't know why you  _want_ to, Ty, why do you need her when I'm..." And Tyler moves to kiss him, but Cameron lets go of his shirt and backs up, shaking his head. "No, no, you can't - I'm not going to - no, Ty."  
  
"Cam, what do you want, do you want me to stop seeing her? Do you want me to stay with you forever?" He moves when Cameron does, reaching out to touch him, trying to calm him down. "I would if I could, Cam, but we can't - no one can find out, you know that." They're both whispering now, because their parents absolutely cannot hear them, and Tyler is holding Cameron's face in both of his hands now, looking him straight in the eyes. "I had to, okay, it's been like four dates. If I didn't, she'd know something was... listen.  _Cameron_ ," he says, because Cameron's not paying attention, but that gets him immediately. "Listen. I love you, okay? I love you." He leans in and kisses Cameron, gentle and slow, like he's never done before. "I love you more than anyone or anything else, ever. Okay?"  
  
Cameron nods, and kisses him back, and they seem to have reached an understanding. Tyler doesn't know when it turned into this - into being  _in love_ \- but somehow, it did, and he's just said it out loud.  
  
*** *** *** *** ***  
  
They graduate at eighteen, move out, and head to Harvard to pursue their undergraduate degrees: Cameron in advertising, Tyler in entrepeneurship. They get a three-person suite with someone named Divya Narendra ("he's not going to speak any English, Cam, fuck," Tyler complains from the start), and when they move in, he's already there. He stands up and extends his hand to greet them, and Cameron takes it, smiling warmly at him. "I'm Cameron Winklevoss, and this is my brother, Tyler Winklevoss." Tyler simply nods from behind him, and Divya looks a little uncomfortable, but he quickly brushes it off and meets Cameron's eyes again.  
  
"It's nice to meet you," he says, and there's something about his voice - so businesslike and easy - that makes Cameron want to hear more. They talk about business and politics, about classic films and gourmet food, and Tyler perches himself on the arm of Cameron's chair, leaning back and watching Divya suspiciously. He doesn't trust anyone that Cameron does, because one of them has to be protective, and because Cameron is  _his_ , not Divya's. That is made clear from the start... except that Divya seems to really like Cameron, and Cameron seems to really like Divya. He and Tyler argue about it sometimes, when Divya is out at class or work.  
  
"Ty, he's really nice. He's incredibly smart, and very motivated, and he just wants friends, okay? Can you at least do that much? Just be friends with him." Cameron is pleading, almost begging, because he really does like Divya and he wants Tyler to like him, too. His hands roam Tyler's body, fingers moving from waistband to bare chest, and he closes his eyes tiredly.  
  
"I'd like him more if he weren't trying to fuck you," Tyler says with an edge in his voice, and Cameron smiles exasperatedly at him.  
  
"Ty," he warns, but Tyler just glares at him and takes his hand, lacing their fingers together and leaning in to kiss him. "He's not trying to fuck me."  
  
Tyler snorts at that, and Cameron leans over to kiss him again, moving his free hand down to palm Tyler through his jeans. The sound that leaves Tyler's lips is worth it, and before long, the jeans are off and Cameron has his hand down his brother's boxer briefs. Tyler is making a sort of whimpering noise, but he's being so loud that Cameron has to keep coaxing him, "shh, shh, Ty, come on,  _come on,_ you need to be quiet - Ty, come on,  _shhhh_."  
  
And then the door opens, and neither of them have time to move before Divya yelps, but when Cameron looks over, the door is closed and Divya is in shock and staring.  
  
From then on, things get interesting.  
  
*** *** *** *** ***  
  
The three of them become inseparable. They stay up late into the night talking about business ventures and marketing ideas, until one night, they come up with the idea for Harvard Connection: a website focused primarily around girls wanting to get with guys who go to Harvard. "It'll be exclusive," Cameron explains excitedly from where he sits sprawled across his brother's lap. "Everyone will need a harvard.edu e-mail to join, and that's what'll separate it from sites like - like Myspace, or Friendster." He glances at Tyler, then at Divya, and the looks on their faces tell him all he needs to know.  
  
The next morning, they find out about Mark Zuckerberg, and the rest is history.  
  
"I just wanted to let you know that Zuckerberg stole our website," Divya shouts, months later, over the rushing water of the tank. Cameron and Tyler both freeze at the same time, both whip around at the same time, both widen their eyes and wait for an answer. "Mark Zuckerberg? He stole our website. It's been live for more than thirty-six hours." The twins turn around, again simultaneously (the mirroring is never intentional anymore), and there's a moment to let the news sink in before Tyler slams the oar down against the boat, causing Cameron to whip around helplessly. He knows Tyler is angry, but there's nothing he can do, and it kills him.  
  
Divya doesn't leave their sides until after the depositions, which is alright most of the time, but Cameron and Tyler like to just be  _together_ sometimes. They're used to falling asleep and waking up next to each other, without Divya always there to come between them. They both love him, and they love being with him, but they can never love him like they love each other. It's no reflection on him; it's just the nature of their relationship. "Ty," Cameron will whisper while Divya sleeps a couple of feet away on the couch, "it's going to be fine."  
  
(He doesn't know if it will be, but he wants to see Tyler happy again.)  
  
"No matter what, I love you, okay? I love you more than anyone or anything else, ever."  
  
Sixty-five million dollars and a non-disclosure agreement later, Tyler and Cameron are in love, and that's more important than Facebook.


End file.
